Visa waiver card

Las dos o tres veces que he pasado por los EE.UU., al hacer la cola para pasar inmigración, me he quedado leyendo incrédulo las preguntas que formula el panfleto verde denominado “Visa waiver card“. El cansancio del viaje siempre me hace olvidar el episodio, pero de esta no pasa.

Prestemos un poco de atención a las preguntas que nos hace el documento en el reverso, aprovechando al mismo tiempo para señalar la cantidad de WTF´s que acoje en su interior. Vamos allá:

    Do any of the following apply to you? (Answer Yes or No)– Do you have a communicable disease; physical or mental disorder; or are you a drug abuser or addict? (WTF!!)- Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude or a violation related to a controlled substance (WTF!!); or been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for which the aggregate sentence to confinement was five years or more (WTF!!); or been a controlled substance trafficker (WTF!!); or are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities (WTF!!)?- Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage (WTF!!); or in terrorist activities (WTF!!); or genocide (WTF!!); or between 1933 and 1945 were involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies (WTF!!)?- Are you seeking to work in the U.S.; or have ever been excluded and deported; or been previously removed fron the United States; or procured or attempted to procure a visa or entry into de U.S. by fraud or misrepresentation (WTF!!)?- Have you every detained, retained or withheld custody of a child from a U.S. citizen granted custody of the child >(WTF!!)?- Have you ever been denied a U.S. visa or entry into the U.S. or had a U.S. visa cancelled?- Have you ever asserted immunity from a prosecution (WTF!!)?

No está mal, un total de 12 preguntas. Pero lo mejor está por venir: Justo después de haber respondido a estas preguntas nos llega el siguiente aviso:

    IMPORTANT: If you answered “Yes” to any of the above, please contact the American Embassy BEFORE you travel to the U.S. since you may be refused admission into the United States.

¡Pero si este documento te lo entregan dentro del avión! ¡¿Cómo voy a responder antes de viajar si me lo entregan mientras estoy volando?! ¡¿A qué cabeza humana se le ocurriría poner YES en el check viendo la descripción de las preguntas?! ¿De verdad esperan encontrar a alguien con este historial y que encima diga la verdad? Con semejante amenaza mejor que mientas si no quieres quedarte a vivir en el aeropuerto…